So many think hate is the opposite of love. In fact it’s not hate. Hate is love flipped over on it’s head. Really, when you hate something, deep underneath it all, there is a love for it.
An example: I hear many people say that they HATE drama. I see it EVERYWHERE. If you ask me, their “hate” is a load of crap. 
Have you ever noticed how it’s those people that seem to take drama with them wherever they go? They actually really enjoy it; they have an unconscious love for it.
Pick out any three things that you hate about the opposite sex, a lover perhaps and somehow you’ll find that you like it in someway. You love to hate it.
Now fear is a different story. Fear is the true opposite of love. When you fear something, there is no possibility of loving it because fear is the absence of love.
Love is like heat. There is a source of heat, and there is no such thing as “cold”. There is no source of coldness. There is only a lack of heat. There is only heat, cold is what happens when heat goes away.
Love is exactly the same way. There is only love and fear is what happens when love goes away.
Think of anytime that you have been afraid and you’ll find you were not loving. Think of anytime that you were deeply in love and you’ll find that you weren’t afraid of anything. When you’re in love, you are completely fearless. Love makes one feel as if they could take on the entire world.
The important thing to recognize is you can only play with love, not fear. Fear is an illusion of what happens when the heat leaves. All fear is useful for is to show you that you are lacking in love, and to become aware of it.
The second that awareness happens, the fear leaves. Your awareness brings heat into the picture and warms the room once again. The awareness brings upon what is real and what truly exists, like love. Remember that fear doesn’t exist, it is only what happens when the fire has gone out and it becomes cold in the room.
This knowing is one of the most basic fundamentals of the underpinnings of relationships. When fear happens: fear of being left, fear of being cheated on, fear of x, y and z, just as fear is absence, the relationship will become absent is the fear is allowed to continue without awareness.
Fear is the greatest destroyer of relationships. It’s because fear is the opposite of what relationships are all about: love anyone?
Women fall in love with a man deeply and then a tremendous fear arises in them. I see it all the time. Of course then they are no longer in love. They’ve lost it and now they’re living in tremendous fear. Fear that propels them to do foolish and stupid things.
Then what do they do? They go out and cheat, play games, play aloof and do everything they can to be inauthentic. Then that vacuum of fear sucks all of the energy in the relationship bone dry. crazy.
Fear has to be forgotten about, and the focus has to come back on love… Love!
Love is what happens when a person begins to accept herself exactly the way she is: no need for improvement. Love happens when a person understands that there is nothing to worry about at all, and she can feel comfortable just relaxing… just relaxing. Not plaguing her mind with useless activities, but just relaxing, and letting all of the tension fall out of the back and shoulders… simply trusting that everything will work out just the way they suppose to.
I’ve done some thinking on self-improvement and I’ve come to this understanding: self-improvement is a waste of energy because it is the wrong path. You want to improve upon your existing circumstances, but you don’t realize that everything you’re trying to achieve will come from inside of you anyway. There is no improvements to be made. Everything you will ever want and need is already there.
When I say self improvement, I say anything of a goal. Anything that takes you away from this moment of joy and love and relaxation.
When the struggle to be a certain something ends, you can begin to relax and find the treasures inside. That’s where everything you could possibly want and draw from exists.
When there is relaxation, an acceptance of who they are just the way they are and their awareness begins to bring them to some heat, love floods the body. Fear is gone, relaxation happens and your energy begins to accumulate.
Ask yourself, would you rather be in relationship where you can just relax and have retained energy, or one where there is always fear and energy always dispersed and divided?
It’s as simple as bringing the energy, bringing the focus back to love.
With honor,
Brandon
Nice
good one brandon!
Very good, I enjoyed this article. I remember reading an exercise on Erin Pavlina’s blog recently that talked about an exercise which involved this very same mantra
‘Get back to Love’
It’s wonderful to see such powerful spiritual teachings applied to relationships. In my experience becoming the best, most feminine and loving girlfriend ever has gone hand in hand with inner growth. Fear (of being enough, of trusting, of letting things go) is still something that I battle with. Nonetheless, I am infinitely thankful that I’ve reached a level of consciousness in which I often recognize when fear is driving my actions or emotions. This is an essential step in getting back to love.
Thank you for showing people how fear often enters into relationships.
P.S. I love the new website.
good one Brandon
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great article….thank u!
I am really impressed with the article but what do you do when when fear has overpowered you how to let go of fear and think straight. If a relationship is dead what now and there is no hope to revive it.
For some reason, fear has been a great attacker for women.
Most women live in DEEP amounts of fear, (for reasons mostly having to do with putting too much value on their physical looks that I won’t get into right now)
Women are just AFRAID.
You guys are afraid when you wake up to when you fall asleep.
Why?
One reason is because fear gives you a feeling that you are ALIVE.
It makes you FEEL.
Fear is a VERY tricky emotion because the actual feeling of fear cannot exist without rationalizations for it.
What do I mean?
Have you ever noticed that you could be afraid of, let’s say you’re boyfriend dumping you and also the fear of becoming old.
The thoughts are different, but the feeling of fear is almost IDENTICAL.
I don’t know how much sense I’m making right now because this is a VERY deep topic that I have spent too much time teaching.
But fear, when it grips you, is almost impossible to get rid of.
One way I suggest to conquer the fear is to demand taking RESPONSIBILITY of yourself.
So many women don’t take responsibility.
In fact, many women don’t want to be seen a being responsible for ANYTHING simply because of the shear amounts of guilt and shame they live with.
They think taking responsibility is the same as blame, but it is not… Responsibility is giving yourself back the control.
You feel out of control when you are afraid.
Taking responsibility give YOU back the control.
You are no longer being controlled, YOU are now in control.